It's from the Juno soundtrack. I listened to it like 10 times this morning and almost cried.
I'm having a bad day and when I got to the point where they sing:
"And if you wanna kill yourself REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU/Call me up before you're dead/We can make some plans instead/Send me an IM I'll be your friend."
I figured that's the part that got you, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day! I wish we'd see more of Jeff here, I worry, because I know from experience the strange chemical things that can happen in the brain to make a person not see that there are folks that love you. It's so hard for the people that love you, too, because it feels like those chemical demons are way stronger than anything you can say or do, and sometimes it's true. It's amazing how fragile these ugly bags of mostly water are, and how strong as well. Wish there was something I could do...
Thank you for the kind words, and I'm sure jeff will thank you too when he reads them. It's definitely weird.
I think I chased away another friend yesterday who made a giant effort to try to help me. Speaking for myself, cuz who else can I speak for, I know that there are people who love me. But mostly I know it intellectually. I don't really feel it or experience it or ALLOW myself to feel it and experience it.
I block that input. Somehow Kimya was able to sneak one past the goalie this morning by singing it. Made my day.
And with the other sentiments (FUCK BUSH and FUCK THIS WAR), maybe it should be a blog theme song.
I'll call Jeff and see if he can drag himself away from Weezer and the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Finals long enough to get caught up. 8)
Wow, thanks, you two kids are alright. Have I been away that long? I didn't realize.
You know what I like? Hugs. There aren't enough hugs. My wife doesn't even hug me anymore. I get genuine hugs from my youngest son, Tommy, and that's it. I used to get a hug at the end of every trip to my psychiatrist, from Ray The Shrink. He's dead, now, though. My therapist will hug me if I initiate. I don't trust guys' hugs, though. I need hugs from females, because that's the gender I've always needed approval from. I don't remember getting a hug from Mom. This sounds so dreadfully cliched, but it's true. I guess I'm just lonely. The kids don't really have a choice, they pretty much HAVE to love me, I mean I treat them well and play with them and help them and tell them when they're doing something wrong and sometimes have to raise my voice to REALLY tell them they're fucking up and the hurt in their eyes, especially in The Duke's is heartbreaking, it makes me feel there's no way I can do this I can't be a parent, what's gonna happen when my daughter's heart gets broken by some dude or when one of the boyz gets beat up or......
I love this song. Kimya is a really cool singer-songwriter.
I don't feel like posting lately. Not even here. I don't feel I have anything interesting to say.
I went nuts against Starbucks below, but now I'm worried I went too far, not against the corporation, but that someone's gonna disagree with me and wanna start a cyberbrawl.
I wanna chemically put myself into a very mellow mood and listen to Jackson Browne's "Late For The Sky" like 4 times. The whole album, I mean, not just the song.
I think I may be in love.
When the Wings were down to the final minutes last night, holding onto a one goal lead, the Stanley Cup was in the building, we were moments away from watching the guys in red and white skate around one by one, holding it aloft, kissing it, handing it off to another teammate, The Duke and I were on our feet, yelling, screaming, hugging each other, until some guy named Maxine Talbot scored to tie it up with 35 seconds remaining. When it got to be 1:something AM I almost thought it wouldn't be so bad if the Wings lost 'cause then The Duke would be able to see the Cup ceremony tomorrow night or Saturday night if it came down to it, I mean there's no way Pittsburgh beats us three games in a row anyway. Still amazing, though. Great series, great hockey. I love hockey. Weird, too, because I hate violence and I hate jocks. My mom used to set me in front of a tv whenever there was a hockey game on because I would be motionless and quiet and just stare at the screen. The Duke was born 2/22/00, the 20th anniversary of the U.S. Olympic hockey team of college kids beat the Soviet Red Army. I dig hockey.
I'm starting to bore myself.
"Blot out his name, then, record one lost soul more, One task more declined, one more footpath untrod."
Good to see you, Jeff! As for hugs, I'm not too big on them, though I'm getting better. Still, it's gotta be people I'm really close with. I really hate people being in my personal space, prolly because I have huge abandonment issues, so I'm afraid to get close because people always tend to go away. I'm sure it has nothing to do with my abrasive personality! I tend to mistrust people who flatter me, or try to get close. I always think they have an ulterior motive.
Yep, I live on Damage Street, on the outskirts of Dain Bramage Town.
Yeah, me too. But you get used to it. As a little kid, I thought I wanted to be a nun, just so I didn't have to deal with the world. Then I learned religion was a crock and sex was kinda fun (though as we know, religion, especially in the Catholic Church, means the sex is creepier and kinkier), so I decided to be a hermit. People are always so disappointing. Funny, I had forgotten the Monty Python sketch where the hermits were sitting there chatting outside their caves, until they did a marathon on Memorial Day. The truth is in comedy!
Exec #1: Item six on the agenda: "The Meaning of Life" Now uh, Harry, you've had some thoughts on this.
Exec #2: Yeah, I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts. One: People aren't wearing enough hats. Two: Matter is energy. In the universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this "soul" does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.
Heehee - I thought that was a trick question! It's been a long time since I saw the flick, and it was the least fave of mine. I only really liked the last bit about death coming to dinner. I'm not really up on vomit jokes at all! Still, MP is MP!
13 comments:
What the heck is that?
It's from the Juno soundtrack. I listened to it like 10 times this morning and almost cried.
I'm having a bad day and when I got to the point where they sing:
"And if you wanna kill yourself REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU/Call me up before you're dead/We can make some plans instead/Send me an IM I'll be your friend."
8,)
I figured that's the part that got you, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day! I wish we'd see more of Jeff here, I worry, because I know from experience the strange chemical things that can happen in the brain to make a person not see that there are folks that love you. It's so hard for the people that love you, too, because it feels like those chemical demons are way stronger than anything you can say or do, and sometimes it's true. It's amazing how fragile these ugly bags of mostly water are, and how strong as well. Wish there was something I could do...
Thank you for the kind words, and I'm sure jeff will thank you too when he reads them. It's definitely weird.
I think I chased away another friend yesterday who made a giant effort to try to help me. Speaking for myself, cuz who else can I speak for, I know that there are people who love me. But mostly I know it intellectually. I don't really feel it or experience it or ALLOW myself to feel it and experience it.
I block that input. Somehow Kimya was able to sneak one past the goalie this morning by singing it. Made my day.
And with the other sentiments (FUCK BUSH and FUCK THIS WAR), maybe it should be a blog theme song.
I'll call Jeff and see if he can drag himself away from Weezer and the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup Finals long enough to get caught up. 8)
Go Redwings! I watched a little of it yesterday, just cos I grew up in MI and saw them practice as a kid.
Wow, thanks, you two kids are alright. Have I been away that long? I didn't realize.
You know what I like? Hugs. There aren't enough hugs. My wife doesn't even hug me anymore. I get genuine hugs from my youngest son, Tommy, and that's it. I used to get a hug at the end of every trip to my psychiatrist, from Ray The Shrink. He's dead, now, though. My therapist will hug me if I initiate. I don't trust guys' hugs, though. I need hugs from females, because that's the gender I've always needed approval from. I don't remember getting a hug from Mom. This sounds so dreadfully cliched, but it's true. I guess I'm just lonely. The kids don't really have a choice, they pretty much HAVE to love me, I mean I treat them well and play with them and help them and tell them when they're doing something wrong and sometimes have to raise my voice to REALLY tell them they're fucking up and the hurt in their eyes, especially in The Duke's is heartbreaking, it makes me feel there's no way I can do this I can't be a parent, what's gonna happen when my daughter's heart gets broken by some dude or when one of the boyz gets beat up or......
I love this song. Kimya is a really cool singer-songwriter.
I don't feel like posting lately. Not even here. I don't feel I have anything interesting to say.
I went nuts against Starbucks below, but now I'm worried I went too far, not against the corporation, but that someone's gonna disagree with me and wanna start a cyberbrawl.
I wanna chemically put myself into a very mellow mood and listen to Jackson Browne's "Late For The Sky" like 4 times. The whole album, I mean, not just the song.
I think I may be in love.
When the Wings were down to the final minutes last night, holding onto a one goal lead, the Stanley Cup was in the building, we were moments away from watching the guys in red and white skate around one by one, holding it aloft, kissing it, handing it off to another teammate, The Duke and I were on our feet, yelling, screaming, hugging each other, until some guy named Maxine Talbot scored to tie it up with 35 seconds remaining. When it got to be 1:something AM I almost thought it wouldn't be so bad if the Wings lost 'cause then The Duke would be able to see the Cup ceremony tomorrow night or Saturday night if it came down to it, I mean there's no way Pittsburgh beats us three games in a row anyway. Still amazing, though. Great series, great hockey. I love hockey. Weird, too, because I hate violence and I hate jocks. My mom used to set me in front of a tv whenever there was a hockey game on because I would be motionless and quiet and just stare at the screen. The Duke was born 2/22/00, the 20th anniversary of the U.S. Olympic hockey team of college kids beat the Soviet Red Army. I dig hockey.
I'm starting to bore myself.
"Blot out his name, then, record one lost soul more,
One task more declined, one more footpath untrod."
--- Robert Browning, "The Lost Leader"
Good to see you, Jeff! As for hugs, I'm not too big on them, though I'm getting better. Still, it's gotta be people I'm really close with. I really hate people being in my personal space, prolly because I have huge abandonment issues, so I'm afraid to get close because people always tend to go away. I'm sure it has nothing to do with my abrasive personality! I tend to mistrust people who flatter me, or try to get close. I always think they have an ulterior motive.
Yep, I live on Damage Street, on the outskirts of Dain Bramage Town.
I have a friend who is totally against hugs because of abandonment issues. I get it. It makes me sad.
Yeah, me too. But you get used to it. As a little kid, I thought I wanted to be a nun, just so I didn't have to deal with the world. Then I learned religion was a crock and sex was kinda fun (though as we know, religion, especially in the Catholic Church, means the sex is creepier and kinkier), so I decided to be a hermit. People are always so disappointing. Funny, I had forgotten the Monty Python sketch where the hermits were sitting there chatting outside their caves, until they did a marathon on Memorial Day. The truth is in comedy!
From my Top Five Favorite Movie Quotes:
Exec #1: Item six on the agenda: "The Meaning of Life" Now uh, Harry, you've had some thoughts on this.
Exec #2: Yeah, I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts. One: People aren't wearing enough hats. Two: Matter is energy. In the universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this "soul" does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.
Exec #3: What was that about hats again?
Is that Hitchhiker's Guide? I know I've just seen this...
Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life".
Heehee - I thought that was a trick question! It's been a long time since I saw the flick, and it was the least fave of mine. I only really liked the last bit about death coming to dinner. I'm not really up on vomit jokes at all! Still, MP is MP!
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