In today’s dose of goofy religious shit, Saudi Arabian cleric Sheikh Muhammad Munajid claims that Mickey Mouse is “one of Satan’s soldiers” who makes everything he “touches” impure, and THEREFORE MUST DIE!!The cleric, a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington DC, said that under Sharia, both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed.
Apparently Saudi cleric chuckleheads have a thing about mice. Fictional or non-fictional.
According to a translation prepared by the Middle East Media Research Institute, an American press monitoring service, he said: "The mouse is one of Satan's soldiers and is steered by him.
"If a mouse falls into a pot of food – if the food is solid, you should chuck out the mouse and the food touching it, and if it is liquid – you should chuck out the whole thing, because the mouse is impure.
"According to Islamic law, the mouse is a repulsive, corrupting creature. How do you think children view mice today – after Tom and Jerry?
However, according to Munajid’s translated remarks, he does not at this time call for the death of Jerry. It's likely he’s going after Mickey Mouse first to make an example of him.
At press time, the following fictional mice were unavailable for comment, as was the frozen head of Walt Disney:
Mighty Mouse, Minnie, Bernard & Miss Bianca from The Rescuers, Chuck E. Cheese, the Dormouse, Emily and Alexander (a.k.a. "Country Mouse and City Mouse"), Fievel Mousekewitz, the "Hickory, Dickory, Dock" mouse (who was apparently running up a clock at press time), Hunca Munca, Tom Thumb, Itchy, Pokemon, Pinky, Pixie, Dixie, the Three Blind Mice, and Stuart Little.
Upon hearing the news of Mickey's condemnation, Speedy Gonzales responded simply with, "¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!" before running away from reporters.
Mr. Munajid has been talking to the press a lot lately, and not just about killing fictional cartoon characters. He was recently quoted condemning the Beijing Olympics. Not because of China’s horrific history of human rights violations or the invasion and continued occupation of Tibet. No, it was the volleyball girls that drew the ire of Munajid.
Last month Mr Munajid condemned the Beijing Olympics as the "bikini Olympics", claiming that nothing made Satan happier than seeing females athletes dressed in skimpy outfits.
Me and Satan both. In fact, a little less commentary and a little more bikini action and Satan and I would’ve watched much more of the Olympics.
Thanks to the astute observations of Munajid, Satanists and I have finally found a point on which we can agree. We likes us some bikini-clad female athletes. Isn’t it great when differing points of view can find common ground?
But wait. What if the bikini-clad athletes are cartoons?
One love.
59 comments:
The volleyball girls pissed me off, too - their teeny bikinis are obviously the only reason why they kept being the main sport shown all week long, and they're why I stopped watching the US stations and watched diving on the Canadian station. Volleyball. Who the fuck cares about some stringy-muscled flat-chested beach bums when there are real athletes doing more interesting stuff?
I never was all that fond of Mickey Mouse, either, so whatever. Why should another culture adopt our cultural signifiers, anyhow? And since mice carry diseases, I should think there would be reasons not to let them hang out in your soup.
On another cultural note, a woman in my office said the other day "I can see why the Arabs want to cover their women, I know an Iranian girl and she's positively gorgeous!" Yeah, well, they cover the ugly ones, too, because the men can't be counted on to be able to resist raping anything with tits and orifices.
MV, people are stoopid, they always were, always will be, 'cos smarts are hard. All that memorizin' of facts, dontcha know. But yeah, it is kinda funny what the godbots will cling to when there's nothing else to talk about.
Anyone else disappointed in Jon Stewart's return? All he could think of to do was list Palin's lies, and run a Magnum PI spoof for Rob Riggle? I expected more oomph. At least Colbert brought the funny. And it looks like Fringe might be a keeper, too.
Why does Coyote hate America? 8)
Ha! Look around, there's so much to despise. But there's a lot to like, once you subtract actual people from the mix.
Boy, looks like everyone's all burned out, huh? The internets are dead, and even Palin's become a bore. Oh well, I've got tickets for Phantom of the Opera at the local playhouse (where I saw Iggy Pop, I think), this weekend - that oughta be fun. It's starting to feel like autumn here, too, love it!
I got this email today:
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....
* You grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, shooting wolves from an airplane you're a quintessential American.
* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig, you're a maverick.
* Graduate from Harvard Law School at the top of your class, you are unstable.
* Attend 5 colleges in 6 years before graduating from the University of Idaho, you're well grounded.
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian and a family man.
* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option for sex education in your state's school system and your unwed teenage daughter becomes pregnant , you're very responsible.
* If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
* If you have a husband whose nickname is "First Dude" and who didn't register to vote until age 25 and who was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA , your family is admirable.
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer working to help poor people, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, beat the heavily favored candidate to win the Democratic nomination and have raised more money than any other Presidential candidate in history, then you don't have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is that you were a beauty queen, a sports caster at a local TV station, PTA President, served 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town that at the time was less than 5,500 people(leaving your town in debt), spent 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you are qualified to be a 72 year old heart beat away from the most important job in the world.
Oh, okay ... Everything is so much clearer now.
Yeah, I've heard of that one going around. A little bit long, I think. No one's going to read it all. Pictures are what works, or video. I think it'd be more useful to send the wolf killer ad around. Short, to the point, and devastating.
Did you hear? Apparently some jewish group holding a hate Iran rally invited Clinton, and didn't tell her they'd already invited Palin. Hillary told them to fuck off; numnuts trying to recreate the SNL skit. Fookin' idiots.
I think it'd be more useful to send the wolf killer ad around. Short, to the point, and devastating.
Yeah, I expect a tidal wave of love for the wolves of Alaska.
Fundies don't give a shit about animals.
Hey, my friend Science Boy says the only reason we stay allies with Israel is because people think when Jesus comes back, that's where he's gonna come back.
Is that true?
(Is it true that people think that, not is it true that Jesus is gonna come back in Israel.)
(Is it true that people think that, not is it true that Jesus is gonna come back in Israel.)
Killjoy.
Yes, that's why many of the fundies are Israel supporters. Something about the Israelites preparing the way for the second coming. Scary stuff. If the Bible said Jesus was gonna return on the Arctic iceshelf they'd be all on about global warming. Too bad.
I'm reading an interesting book. It's a little heavy on biblical references but the gist of it is that the writing of the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John were simply a direct continuation of the king/savior literary tradition that had developed in the Middle East over the preceeding millenia. The guys a biblical scholor and makes the case that there is really no actual historical record of the actual existance of Jesus. He maintains that the figure of Jesus was just an expansion and reformulation of the traditional savior king figure.
The guys a biblical scholor and makes the case that there is really no actual historical record of the actual existance of Jesus.
I thought I heard they found proof that Jesus actually existed. Like they found a fossil of his cock or something. Not true?
I think some xtians who cozy up to Israel are thinking of the Rapture and how Israel converts during the end times or some such nonsense. I'm inclined to agree with snark's author about the ages old messiah myth, especially since there are also a lot of flood myths in different middle east cultures as well, prolly stemming from an ancient flood.
Someone on Sadly No wondered wouldn't it be funny if the xtians mistranslated Rapture instead of Raptors. Heh. Wouldn't the fundies be surprised? At least for the second before they were chomped!
Like they found a fossil of his cock or something. Not true?
Not likely since his body was conveniently "ascended into heaven". Ya know, know bones, or cock, to dig up. Same with his mom. (About the bones, not the cock.) ;)
At least for the second before they were chomped!
Didn't the Romans throw the Christians to the raptors?
I think so! Or was it the killer rabbits?
Same with his mom. (About the bones, not the cock.)
Killjoy.
But the Fundies won't be scared of the Raptors. Cuz our ancestors used to ride them like horses.
They'll just try to feed them oats and saddle one up. And then they'll blame the hostility of the Raptors on the gays.
I'm reading two things simultaneously. Christopher Hitchens' God Is Not Great and Robert Kirkman's comic book series "Battle Pope".
Speaking of Kirkman: you need to check this out, coyote. Dare you to order volume 1 and not get right back online for volume 2.
Absolutely fantastic. Black and white, just the story of survivors of a zombie uprising. Any character can die at any moment.
Mmmm, zombie uprising. Do you know I've never ordered from Amazon, I've never had a netflix queue, and furthermore, I don't really need either. I like bookstores. I like browsing in Blockbuster. Those people like their jobs.
'Course the graphic novels are hard to come by, but Borders will order anything I want. I may give it a try. I love comix!
Oh, and I've never read anything by Hitchens, and never will. He's a scumbag AFAIC.
Sadly, I'm in a reading rut - I've got a Balducci novel sorta goin' on, and I'm waiting for the next F. Paul Wilson Repairman Jack novel. I am looking for Richard Clarke's latest, though, and will get Nixonland next time I'm at the bookstore.
'Course the graphic novels are hard to come by, but Borders will order anything I want. I may give it a try. I love comix!
Borders would definitely order it for you. I think I just finished vol. 9 which was the most recent collection.
Make sure you order the paperback volume 1, just like in the link. There's also a mammoth hardback collection, but that's expensive.
You know what pisses me off about comics, and what keeps most people from ever reading them?
95% of all comics published are about superheroes.
That's just stupid. Imagine if you went into Borders and 95% of all books were romance novels? Or if 95% of the music at Best Buy was country? Or if 95% of movies were bad romantic comedies?
Which is why we applaud and support writers like Kirkman who stretch the medium and still makes money because it's that good. Steve Niles is another guy, wrote "30 Days of Night", which was made into the recent vampire movie.
Plus I met Robert Kirkman and he was really nice to me.
Oh, and I've never read anything by Hitchens, and never will. He's a scumbag AFAIC.
Curious. Elaboration?
I read "Letter to a Christian Nation" and saw him on some interviews, but I haven't really formed an opinion of him yet.
I saw the "30 days" movie 'cos I just love vampires, and it was pretty spooky, but I remember thinking that it was dumb, too, but that was the director's fault for not showing time passing properly. Still, it had fabulous beasties!
He's a raging misogynist, arrogant drunk who's too enamoured of his own talent. I've seen him on Reel Time (fookin' Mahr's such a dick so they were perfect together) and he was a dick there, too, saying shit just to be contrary. And I say Mahr's a dick because yesterday on Rachel Maddow's show, she spent the whole show building up Mahr's appearance, and when his interview finally came, he was boring and barely tried to answer the questions - he had a sneer on his face as if he just hated being there. Way to help out, fuck face!
The "30 Days" graphic novel was pretty lame too, but it launched Steve Niles up into "the next Stephen King" realm.
"Men in Black" was based on a non-superhero graphic novel. So was "300", "Sin City", "The Road To Perdition", and "A History of Violence".
There are production companies out there who snatch up published graphic novels and work the studios to get a movie made.
Most of them languish in development hell though because the studios will option a book just to keep other studios from doing it first.
Anyway, sort of a career goal of mine.
I don't watch Maher anymore. I love him for condemning marriage and supporting legalization, but he pisses me off on other stuff.
And a lot of the time I just feel like I'm watching the flip side of O'Reilly. And I'm not too interested in either side of that coin.
I'm with ya, dude. I had heard Palin was going to be on Hannity, what a total asshole. He had Pelosi's daughter on, and he was trying to get her to say that it was good for women that Palin might be VP, and she refused, good for her. But he just kept yelling at her "yes or no!!!!" Didn't stick around for Palin.
Hannity is another guy I'd really love to kick in the balls. I never watch Fox Noise, but I saw a couple of YouTube clips of him being really rude to Dr. Paul. Not even letting him answer the questions, bullying him, just spitting in his face.
So yeah. Jon Stewart and Maher get away with it because they claim to be comedians putting on a comedy show, but c'mon.
They both make me laugh, but I don't watch because they're so hateful of the other side. Just like Rush and Bill-O and Hannity.
Why so hateful? Why so angry?
Hannity's the guy that if I saw him on the street, I'd be hawking up a loogie for him. And he'd know, just by the sound, it was meant for him, even if he didn't see me.
But don't lump Stewart in with Maher (heh, I was spelling it wrong before, wasn't I?). Stewart is nice to all the guests - the only ones he was openly hostile to, of all people, were the Spice Girls. Man, they really pissed him off, and he them. Funny. But I was surprised how weak the post-vacation show was regarding Palin. Still, the crashing market was just breaking, so I'm glad he covered that. And you'd have loved Rob Riggle's Tom Selleck. He was spot on.
I read the transcript of the Hannity/Palin interview (part 1) last night.
She can't answer a question. Not that the questions were hard, but every word out of her mouth is campaigning.
Blah blah blah hockey moms blah blah maverick blah blah change blah blah blah outside the Beltway blah blah blah.
I'd like to know why, among the myriad of books she sought to ban in Wasilla, Tarzan of the Apes was on there.
"Governor, why do you hate Tarzan?"
Not that you expected any different, right?
"Governor, why do you hate Tarzan?"
Duh! Clearly it was 'cause Tarzan fraternizes with "apes". And he's a godless heathen.
That, and I think he says, "come over here you juicy little cunt I wanna tear you up with my jungle python" to Jane at one point. But I believe that line only appears in the unabridged edition.
Heh. I think that part was left out of the tv show, though.
Speaking of tv Tarzan, I never knew mittens played Tarzan!
Yet oddly enough, they DID include that line in the Disney version.
Somebody sent me the email list of books she tried to ban. Makes for a great reading list! Brave New World, 1984, Catcher in the Rye, etc.
Who is mittens?
Mitt Romney! And I thought the list of books was a myth - cept for the gay pastor one.
And snark, I totally LOLed on the fuck yous at TLC. Read it, MV, you may want to join in.
OMG, that pic is hilarious, snark. What a total dork.
Ugh. Romney.
Which topic are you FUing on?
Topic? Who needs a topic. Just go to the back on track thread and scroll to the bottom. You'll understand when you see it.
And in case you didn't know, MarkL is a pumaturd. And a dick.
Sometimes I'll drive to work and yell "FUCK YOU" at every car I see.
I find it empowering.
I like to do that in the subway sometimes.
Usually gets you plenty of room to sit down too!
I like to do that in the subway sometimes. Usually gets you plenty of room to sit down too!
Masturbate? Yeah, I've heard that about New York.
Taffy pull, heh.
Yeah, don't sit down on the subway unless you put down papers first...
When my kids were little, they'd yell at the crazy drivers for me so I could concentrate on not crashing. They didn't swear, though. Don't know how they got outta childhood with such clean language!
Masturbate? Yeah, I've heard that about New York.
Yup. Now that Ghoaliani is history it's anything goes in the Big Apple again!
Yup. Now that Ghoaliani is history it's anything goes in the Big Apple again!
Sweet!! So I can find whores and ninja throwing stars in Times Square again?
Damn those ninja stars! My garage walls are riddled with holes from my son flinging them around.
Could be worse. He could be flinging whores around the garage.
Nah, we keep them in the shed out back.
Sweet!! So I can find whores and ninja throwing stars in Times Square again?
Yeah. Except they're all made of...wax.
They do have the WWE Experience though!
Yeah. Except they're all made of...wax.
The whores or the throwing stars?
He could be flinging whores around the garage.
Hey, hitting whores in holes and getting head is better than getting holes in the head from ninja stars hitting.
Ouch, that was tortured, snark!
And what's made of wax, the stars or the hos?
Crap, MV beat me to it!
Hey, hitting whores in holes and getting head is better than getting holes in the head from ninja stars hitting.
Is that Dr. Seuss?
Is that Dr. Seuss?
From the rarely discussed Whoretown Nails A Who?
Crap, MV beat me to it!
I think snark lobbed that one high over the net to see which one of us would spike it first.
Speaking of lobbing over the net, did you know "Ping Pong" is derogatory?
"Table Tennis" is the accepted vernacular.
My mom told me that during the Olympics. Some Chinese dude corrected a reporter on the term.
From the rarely discussed Whoretown Nails A Who?
I believe it's "Whoretown Nails A Ho".
did you know "Ping Pong" is derogatory?
Well, I understand Michele Malkin gets upset when people mention ping pong balls - something to do with her former life as a barfly in Manila...
Better go tell these folks.
I love the "Killer Spin" model. Makes them seem all sax-ay and shit.
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