Okay, I watched this movie last night (the first one was excellent), and I have a quiz for you based on the situation. If you've seen the movie, don't give it away, please. Here's the situation you're in. Ready?
You and five other adults are sailing on a 75 foot yacht. Two of them have a baby that they've just put down for a nap in the cabin down below.
All six people jump in the water for a swim. One problem. Nobody thought to put the ladder down.
Now you're treading water. Three men, three women. You have your swimsuits, one knife, one diving mask, and one life jacket.
You're cold, you're exhausted, and the baby's crying. How do you get back up on the boat?
Go.
(By the way, according to the Coast Guard, this happens more than you might think. At least they think this is what happens, based on the number of adrift luxury yachts they find floating around at sea.)
26 comments:
Couple of other details. You can't reach the deck. It's too high. And you're not gonna get any leverage standing on someone's shoulders, because that just sinks the other person.
Tie all the bathing suits together and start flinging.
I thought of that too. Or fling the life jacket over a cleat or a part of a railing? Use the nife to make a hole in the hull of the boat? Not likely but worth a try I suppose.
Maybe go in thru the propeller shaft? How big is the boat?
Or else try to use the bathing suits as a slingshot!
I can't answer this until Obama comes out with a position on it.
Coyote, love the librarian! I went to a Halloween party a few years ago thrown by her work, a hair salon. Babes. They all dressed as sluts. Naughty nurse, domanatrix, Raggedy Ann, tiny little animal costumes, it was unbelievable. That's all Halloween is anymore. An excuse for women to dress like sluts. I think Bill Maher may have said that. Halloween is a kids thing, adults stay out of it.
Though there was a dude with a Nixon mask, dressed in overalls carrying a bloody axe. That was awesome.
Sad, isn't it, that Halloween has become just a reason to dress slutty? I loved it as a kid, running around after dark, lots of candy, dress up, autumn and ghosts. Now, it's just boring. No kid tricks or treats any more. No one even decorates any more. Bummer.
Tie all the bathing suits together and start flinging.
They tried that. "Nude up!" It wasn't strong enough to climb up.
What pissed me off about that is now everybody's naked in the water but all we see are male butts and maybe even a dangly bit or two.
Jab the knife in the boat and use it to pull yourself up.
Jeff, You like Dallas or Philly this weekend? He, he...
Or fling the life jacket over a cleat or a part of a railing?
I thought of that too. Life jackets usually have straps and clasps and hooks or buckles. But the person wearing it was terrified of the water (childhood trauma), so it stayed on her.
But the person wearing it was terrified of the water (childhood trauma), so it stayed on her.
Cut her, since you just know this whiner's gonna be trouble, and when the sharks start circling, hop on the back of one of them, and fly onto the boat!
Use the nife to make a hole in the hull of the boat?
Okay, so now you have a hole in the hull. Now what?
Jab the knife in the boat and use it to pull yourself up.
You're close, but you can't hang from a knife.
Maybe go in thru the propeller shaft? How big is the boat?
75-foot yacht. And one of the guys does think of that. But he has no tools to remove the propeller. He tries to use the knife, but drops it.
No more knife. Now what?
Cut her, since you just know this whiner's gonna be trouble, and when the sharks start circling, hop on the back of one of them, and fly onto the boat!
Mean!! One guy does bleed and it attracts zero sharks, so hopping on the back of a shark, as logical as it sounds, isn't an option.
Hypothermia has now set in. And it's starting to get dark.
Frankly, these people are idiots, so I'm hoping they'll just drown, myself.
Frankly, these people are idiots, so I'm hoping they'll just drown, myself.
But you're one of them! And the baby's crying!
Stay close to the boat in case the baby comes to the rescue.
Fuck the baby, why'd they bring it along anyhow? And why would they bring a terrified of the water chick, too?
Anyhow, I give up. Do they use the hole to climb up?
None of this matters. SoS, Monday night is Showtime for the Cowboys. They're going to announce to America that they are awesomely talented at every position, and they are Super Bowl- bound. Romo throws for three touchdowns minimum. Dallas rolls another one for the road. I don't even know what the spread is. I gotta go see The Book after work, anyway.
I picked them cause they were at home.
Anyhow, I give up. Do they use the hole to climb up?
They do. It gets down to only one woman (mother of the baby) and one man (owner of the boat).
The man, in frustration, smashes the diving mask against the hull and finds himself with a knife-like shard of plastic.
Digging the shard into the hull and hanging on with both hands, the woman is able to climb up him and get on deck.
Oh, and of course this is the whiny bitch who not only hoards the life jacket, but is also the only one who doesn't give up her bikini for the swimsuit rope. So when we finally see her climb out, she's clothed.
I figgered as much, I should have said it! So, not even a boobie for all your effort!
I know. And all 3 women were really hot.
Nothing worse than a movie that warns of "NUDITY" and it turns out to be all male.
Huh? I don't get it. What was the guy able to do with a "shard of diving mask lens" that he wasn't able to do with a knife?
And no tits?
Thanks for saving me a few bucks and a coupla hours.
Huh? I don't get it. What was the guy able to do with a "shard of diving mask lens" that he wasn't able to do with a knife?
Well, another dude had the idea of stabbing the knife into the hull, right at the hinge where the ladder deploys from. (It's like an automatic staircase that lowers versus a rope ladder.)
Unfortunately, the dude that owns the boat takes umbrage to this and they struggle for the knife, and the other guy gets stabbed and slowly bleeds to death.
But when the boat owner has the shard of plastic in his hands, he remembers the tiny hole the dead dude gouged.
So by sticking the shard in the hole and holding onto it, it gave him enough leverage to hold steady so the woman could climb up him.
Yeah, they could've done this with the knife too, but the boat owner had to freak out.
It actually was a good movie.
It's like David Mamet wrote in The Edge, people who are stuck in these situations "die of shame". They don't think.
First thing I would've done is have everybody spread out and search every inch of the hull above water for any kind of seam or anything other than smooth surface.
Somebody would've found the ladder seam. Then I'd dig the knife into the seam, hold onto the knife with both hands, turn my back to the boat, and have the two naked chicks climb up me face-to-face.
We could wait for the second naked girl to get on board before deploying the ladder.
Total time in the water? 20, 25 minutes tops. After that, boat drinks and naked hotties. Boom.
You should make films.
You should make films.
Well, it would've been about a 45 minute movie with me at the helm, but there'd be tits, so...
Oh, and the guys would keep their shit on. You can't make a rope out of board shorts! Only bikinis will work.
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