That's right - he did Red Dawn too. Was he the one that went wacky, or was it someone else? Funny. I heard they're going to remake it. Silly ass fools. Didn't they see the show Jericho? Big fail.
And yes, obviously the Red Dawn remake is a complete waste of time and money. The original still holds up like a mofo.
Remember Jennifer Grey? Dirty Dancing, Ferris Bueller, Red Dawn? And then she got that nose job and is now completely unrecognizable?
She showed up in the credits in Redbelt and it wasn't until the second time that I even noticed her.
Plastic surgery ruins careers.
And men too. Fuckin' Kenny Chestnut or whatever his name is, was married to Renee Zelwigger for like 20 minutes? Dude got PEC IMPLANTS. They come with a very ironic warning: You must not ever do push-ups.
C'mon. The Day of the Regular Guy is coming back. Like a tidal wave of fat guys with hairy chests in Rodney Dangerfield bowling shirts descending upon the death of the Metrosexual Age.
We're coming back. Get some beer and some fuckin' bratwurst on the grill, STAT.
It's amazing to me that anyone pays for porn anymore. If you can't get enough just from what's free on the intertubes...well to each his, or her own, I suppose. ;)
Fuck they can have my pecs now. I went through that work out stage... got my pecs nice and big, abs like a six pack, killer guns... now I have man boobs, a keg for a gut and my ass is growing like the universe.
Which makes you perfectly poised for the return of the Regular Guy.
Remember the dudes Mary Tyler Moore used to date? Big hair, badly groomed, bad teeth, open shirts and chest wigs? Everybody thought those guys were hot!
I'm really not that worried about it, fuck, I'm 51 now, a 100% disabled Veteran... I'll be the beached whale down in Mexico. I just hope "Hancock" doesn't throw me back in the ocean!
I'm sure there's someone out there with a fantasy about getting trampled to death by a panicked crowd, but you'd really only get to do it once and I'm told the experience is not satisfying.
Kali's prolly not pissed, right? She likes destruction and chaos, I've heard.
'Course, I was almost trampled at a U2 concert a few years back. Those of us who've been to a few concerts know that either you're moshing, or you're dead!
I have "Temple Trample" for the XBOX 360. It's pretty awesome. You can cause landslides and falling rock and running bulls and set stuff on fire.
If there were a meth lab or bad curry that caused 270 deaths in the past two months, I gotta believe even the Indian society would crack down on it. But Temple Trample? Nah, that's okay. They'll just pray for a lesser body count next time.
I mean, go to the temple if you want. Just don't freak out because somebody says "bomb" or "landslide". Crazy freaks.
How much would it suck to be a paramedic in India? You'd be looking forward to a relaxing weekend only to remember, "Shit. It's Rama Kama Cushy day. Gotta go drag bloody children out of the Temple Trample again."
'Course, I was almost trampled at a U2 concert a few years back.
When I was a kid, I was almost killed at a Charlie Daniels Band concert in Chicago at Navy Pier.
After the show, the crowd herded out through one or two exits. I was less than waist high on my mom. We got separated from Jeff and my dad, so it was just me and mom. And she had had back surgery that year and couldn't lift me. She's screaming for someone to help me.
So the crowd's packing in tighter and tighter and by the time it hits me that I can't breathe, I'm almost blacking out. If I had gone down, I would've been trampled.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, this long-haired, shirtless, Harley Davidson Jesus guy throws me up on his shoulders and fights our way out of the crowd. Then he puts me down and disappears.
Dude saved my life, didn't even pause for a thank you.
Man, MV's got me beat. Rama Kama Cushy day? Funny.
But really, at least those guys get out in the street when they really believe in something. We just scooch our chairs closer to the computer or tv and hope for the best.
At least we don't get Temple Trampled. So, when is it coming for Nintendo Wii? Do they use one o' them pads on the floor? Gotta say, throwing a landslide at the fleeing horde could be amusing!
And yes, snark. I thought we'd already established that I'm evil. MV's only evil-lite, cos he won't allow makin' fun o' animals in stampedes.
Charlie Daniels??? Oy. I guess back then, we didn't know he was a raving lunatic Repuke, huh? And biker guys are pretty cool when they're not selling drugs and killing rival gangs.
MV's only evil-lite, cos he won't allow makin' fun o' animals in stampedes.
As much as I'd like to get off the aspartame-injected Evil-Lite and graduate up to fully sugared, fully caffeinated EVIL, I do still have a sensitivity for the animals.
But I actually PREFER them to people. Why I could never be a K-9 cop. I'd take a bullet for my German Shepherd partner, and I don't think that's the point.
Charlie Daniels??? Oy. I guess back then, we didn't know he was a raving lunatic Repuke, huh?
I couldn't tell you what my parents were thinking, going to this show. They dragged us to some GOOD shows too -- Waylon and Willie and the boys -- but the one I almost buy it at is "The Devil Went Down to Fucking Georgia".
And biker guys are pretty cool when they're not selling drugs and killing rival gangs.
Last time I drove up to have breakfast w/ Jeff's kids, there was a biker gang in the truck stop. The Rebel Knights or something gay like that. Matching jackets.
A biker gang. Please. I called them all a bunch of pussies and they slipped on their Keds, flipped out switch blades, and broke into a song and dance musical number.
A Montana Cowboy and a California Cowboy are riding along side a fence one morning, when they come across a sheep who has gotten his head stuck in the fence while trying to escape.
They dismount, the Montana Cowboy says, "Hoo boy! Been a long time since I had me any of that!" He unzips and, well, defiles the sheep.
After he's finished, he says to the California Cowboy, "Okay! Your turn!"
The California Cowboy sighs, shrugs, and sticks his head through the fence.
You know, I've been seriously depressed in my life, suffered from depression and chronic tinnitus, and I've contemplated a lot of ways to do myself in.
Bear hugging a 100 mph bullet train is not something that ever occured to me.
And I've even seen the Japanese horror freak-out Suicide Girls.
Damn if that guy doesn't have the "my life is over" Willy Loman look on his face in that picture. Remember a few years ago there was a commercial for something (can't remember what) with a guy riding his John Deere mower around the lawn of his big McMansion all decked out, big car in the driveway. Narrator says "How does he do it?" as the guy rides up to the camera and says with a big glassy eyed smile, "I'm in debt up to my eyeballs!" That guy has that look on his face.
Okay, that guy had everything going for him. He could have ridden it out and still kept a couple houses and boats. So, why'd he off himself. I think we may find out there're more shenanigans than first thought.
BTW, my boss just had our first supplier say no more shipping 'til you're paid up. Could be trouble in paradise.
BTW, my boss just had our first supplier say no more shipping 'til you're paid up. Could be trouble in paradise.
It's about how Wall Street affects Main Street, and how it affects the family sitting at the kitchen table looking at their future and they're worried.
Which is why we need a BI-partisan effort, you know, now is not the time for pointing fingers, we need to come together and solve this crisis, you know, all under the umbrella of job creation.
Sure does. But standing in front of a train? Of course, the guy wasn't sorry for what he'd done, or else he would have offed himself long ago. So basically, he was sorry he got caught.
Course, there's always the possibility it'll wing ya, and take off your legs. Did you hear about the guy who had his legs lopped off by a train, and managed to call 911? He was a fighter, all right.
That happens down here in Campus Town at least once a year. Some douche bag football scholarship gets drunk and tries to beat the train only to hear the "pop pop" of their legs being severed from their torso.
But no, I think this guy jumped in front of a train that was already moving at 100 mph. Threw himself in front of it. Not much chance of failing THAT suicide attempt.
Kid in my high school class got offed by a train. Missing two days. They found him next to the tracks with his head split open. Not sure if it was a suicide or an accident.
If you're not concerned with an open casket funeral it's no biggie.
Jeebus, open casket funerals freak my shit out. Especially when I don't know the people that well -- I'm just stopping by to pay my respects, you know? But I still gotta get in line to view the embalmed corpse.
Weirdest one ever was when a dude I worked with every day for like four years suddenly died. Went to his wake and funeral. Seeing somebody you recently knew in an open casket is far more disturbing.
I get people like it for the closure or whatever, but nah. I wanna be flame-broiled and spread on a beach somewhere.
Fuck your closure. Maybe you should've kept in touch with me when I was alive, assholes. Doesn't mean you get to do the Dead Body Peep Show.
No kidding! My friend's family are Scots, and they demand to see the body. Argh! Luckily, she was with me when I went to check on an elderly friend who'd died in front of the tv. I couldn't even go in the house, and there she was, creeping around to get a peek. I couldn't look at the stretcher heading for the coroner's van. I'm such a lightweight. I gag at smooshed spiders.
Yeah, the whole wake ritual thing is a bit weird. Weirdest one I ever attended was for the sister-in-law of one of my buddies. His older brothers wife. Brother was a NYC cop. So was his older sister, a detective I think. The sister-in-law dropped by to visit the sister one morning and while the sister was in the shower she used her gun to shot herself in the head. Imagine my surprise showing up at the wake and seeing an open casket! WTF! I don't know how they did it but they musta used her hair and a ton of makeup to cover up the wounds. I was too freaked to go up to the casket.
When I'm dead I wanna be burnt up too. Fuck that embalming crap. Why do I need to rot in a box for a hundred years. Actually, run me through a chipper out in the forest somewhere. Fertilize the fucking place, eh?
Just make sure I'm dead before dumping me in the chipper, though. But yeah. Cremation. In the cheapest pine box you can get. Funerals are such a scam. Imagine spending $5000 on something you'll use only once, then bury in the ground. Such waste!
I knew a guy from high school that became a State Trooper. Really regilious dude, even back in high school.
Once he passed the academy, he took to wearing a bible under his jacket at all times. People gave him a hard time about it, but he didn't mind.
One night he was involved in a vicious roadside shoot-out. And get this -- the bible in his pocket actually stopped a bullet that was headed right for his heart. Stopped it cold. That bullet would've ruined his heart.
And if he'd had another bible over his face, that man would be alive today.
My friend tried to get me to watch the L word, and I'd prolly like it. But I have to be in the mood for talkie type stuff. I like Conchords, them guys is funny. Don't like Larry David, he's just a jerk. Never saw one ep of Sopranos, don't like the gangster stuff, even Godfather, which I watched part of this weekend on A&E, just 'cos Pacino used to be so cute.
Preferably on the bbq! With a nice marinade and a cold beer.
I didn't know you drank beer snark? ;)
MV, you are on a roll... been laughing my ass off catching up.
Down at the VA today for a tune-up... more and more young guys everytime!
The worst funeral I saw, was my step-Daughters. The back of her head had been crushed in a car accident and they still managed to have an open casket. Of course I wanted to barf but had to be strong for the wife. That was a rough stretch for the wife and I.
I watched David Mamet's Heist over the weekend w/ Gene Hackman and Danny DeVito. Guy tells that story.
I dunno. I'm not really interested in their "culture" or their relationships. Just the fucking.
The fucking is actually pretty boring. What're they gonna do? Scissors? Strap ons?
I just like the kissing. And I can put up some "culture" as long as they make out a lot.
BTW: The Sopranos got old fast and I missed a couple of seasons. Larry David IS a jerk, but the show is improv and I will always love it for that, and for making me cringe.
Jeff loves Trueblood. I watched the first episode and will prolly get caught up.
Entourage should've been in my Top Five. I got hooked on In Treatment too. And Tell Me You Love Me which had some really graphic fucking going on in it.
The back of her head had been crushed in a car accident and they still managed to have an open casket. Of course I wanted to barf but had to be strong for the wife.
See, that's what I mean. They push it too far. And spending all that money on a casket that's just gonna rot away in the ground...
I'm not a fan. We should show more respect for the dead and worry less about our own selfish need for closure.
That'd be cool. Throw me in the lion's den, get all mauled.
I read a story one time about a woman who was hiking on a high cliff wall. Down below, she saw a lioness who had been killed by something, and all these little lion kittens were swarming around her, trying to get fed.
The woman, feeling such compassion for the kittens, threw herself off the ledge so her body could feed the starving babies.
I'm not saying I would do THAT, but I might climb down and assemble an Arby's carry-out order for the kittens. Bring 'em back some Big Roast Beefs and some curly fries.
Pretty much. They preferred to load up blankets with smallpox instead of getting their hands dirty with close up killing. And we still like our killing sterilized while glorifying it in films and tv. Pretty odd.
The wife and I just celebrated our 12 Anniversary, but in December we will have been together for 14 years. You know... the almost 2 years you are trying on the right pair of shoes by living together.
How has this escaped us? My God the implications. My original paradigm is now completely shattered.
108 comments:
I forgot that movie existed. Did anyone actually see it? Dumb as Tom Cruise in a fat suit.
Sad thing is that was about the pinnacle of his movie career.
Poor thing. And now Robert Downey Jr's getting kudos for his blackface in Tropic Thunder or whatever it's called.
Just goes to show what a pioneer C. Thomas Howell is and always will be.
"WOLVERINES!!!!"
That's right - he did Red Dawn too. Was he the one that went wacky, or was it someone else? Funny. I heard they're going to remake it. Silly ass fools. Didn't they see the show Jericho? Big fail.
I heard they're going to remake it.
I heard the working title is;
Red Sunset; How Sarah Palin Stopped the Big Red Menace.
Hey MV, did you ever get into the "Billy Jack" movies? My cousins loved em', me not so much.
I loved Billy Jack! I can probably credit that flick for making me a liberal. One tin soldier rides away....
Saw it again recently, and gaaak. What a waste of a 'vette! But back in the '70s it was the height of coolness.
I'm totally unfamiliar with Billy Jack. Who played him?
Wasn't that his real name? Billy Jack? I think so. Nowadays, he'd be considered another Chuck Norris.
And yes, obviously the Red Dawn remake is a complete waste of time and money. The original still holds up like a mofo.
Remember Jennifer Grey? Dirty Dancing, Ferris Bueller, Red Dawn? And then she got that nose job and is now completely unrecognizable?
She showed up in the credits in Redbelt and it wasn't until the second time that I even noticed her.
Plastic surgery ruins careers.
And men too. Fuckin' Kenny Chestnut or whatever his name is, was married to Renee Zelwigger for like 20 minutes? Dude got PEC IMPLANTS. They come with a very ironic warning: You must not ever do push-ups.
C'mon. The Day of the Regular Guy is coming back. Like a tidal wave of fat guys with hairy chests in Rodney Dangerfield bowling shirts descending upon the death of the Metrosexual Age.
We're coming back. Get some beer and some fuckin' bratwurst on the grill, STAT.
Pec implants. Ugh. Almost as bad as hair plugs.
Pec implants are WAY worse than hair plugs.
Guys get all kinds of cosmetic surgery now. Pecs, chins, ab implants, butt implants, etc.
To me, this is the amazing thing about the success of "Guy" magazines like Maxim, Stuff, GQ, and Men's Health.
Basically, these magazines are sold to men to accomplish what Cosmo has been doing for decades with women:
They make men feel bad about themselves.
Uh, we didn't really want that. Or need it. So no thanks. And the hot girl photo spreads? We can get those online. And with nudity.
It's amazing to me that anyone pays for porn anymore. If you can't get enough just from what's free on the intertubes...well to each his, or her own, I suppose. ;)
No kidding. Mr. Skin still makes money! If you can't get what you want at RedTube.com, you may have a problem.
Fuck they can have my pecs now. I went through that work out stage... got my pecs nice and big, abs like a six pack, killer guns... now I have man boobs, a keg for a gut and my ass is growing like the universe.
Which makes you perfectly poised for the return of the Regular Guy.
Remember the dudes Mary Tyler Moore used to date? Big hair, badly groomed, bad teeth, open shirts and chest wigs? Everybody thought those guys were hot!
Public perception is a fickle bitch.
Public perception is a fickle bitch.
I'm really not that worried about it, fuck, I'm 51 now, a 100% disabled Veteran... I'll be the beached whale down in Mexico. I just hope "Hancock" doesn't throw me back in the ocean!
If you can't get enough just from what's free on the intertubes...well to each his, or her own, I suppose. ;)
Yeah, the 'nets allow you to find fetish friends much more easily... I've heard, you know, like, rumors and things...
What fetish friends are you looking for??
Just a hypothetical, MV, just a hypothetical.
Speaking of fetishes.
God's Will?
He must be one sick bastard.
Temple stampedes are not uncommon in India during religious festivals.
Well then I guess that's just population control. I can see getting trampled to see The Who in 1971, but for a religious ceremony?
Last month, more than 130 people were killed when panicked worshippers tried to flee a crowded mountaintop Hindu temple in northern India.
LAST MONTH?? This is like a monthly thing?
130 last month, 147 this month, looks like their 4th quarter gains are improving.
I have a simple, live-saving solution. Next time there's a religious festival? Stay home and read a book. Your Hindu goddesses don't like you anyway.
Natural selection, I say. Shoulda stuck to online fetishes. No crowds. No stampedes.
I'm told.
I'm sure there's someone out there with a fantasy about getting trampled to death by a panicked crowd, but you'd really only get to do it once and I'm told the experience is not satisfying.
You feeling better today, MV? Or did you skip work again?
I wonder if getting trampled at a temple is like running with the bulls?
I'm back at work, feeling so-so. Thanks for asking.
I think they should REPLACE the running with the bulls with an annual temple trample.
It'd be easier on the bulls.
Temple Trample! Woohoo!
Get your tried and true Temple Trample tennis shoes! Breaks the ice at parties, and breaks heads in the Temple courtyard!
Sorry you're still feeling icky, MV. Tis the season, man. Sucks.
See, if there was a God would he allow you freaks to enjoy such sick humor at the expense of dead Indians?
Oh, right, they were Hindus.
Wrong God.
Kali's prolly not pissed, right? She likes destruction and chaos, I've heard.
'Course, I was almost trampled at a U2 concert a few years back. Those of us who've been to a few concerts know that either you're moshing, or you're dead!
I have "Temple Trample" for the XBOX 360. It's pretty awesome. You can cause landslides and falling rock and running bulls and set stuff on fire.
If there were a meth lab or bad curry that caused 270 deaths in the past two months, I gotta believe even the Indian society would crack down on it. But Temple Trample? Nah, that's okay. They'll just pray for a lesser body count next time.
I mean, go to the temple if you want. Just don't freak out because somebody says "bomb" or "landslide". Crazy freaks.
How much would it suck to be a paramedic in India? You'd be looking forward to a relaxing weekend only to remember, "Shit. It's Rama Kama Cushy day. Gotta go drag bloody children out of the Temple Trample again."
You guys are merciless.
'Course, I was almost trampled at a U2 concert a few years back.
When I was a kid, I was almost killed at a Charlie Daniels Band concert in Chicago at Navy Pier.
After the show, the crowd herded out through one or two exits. I was less than waist high on my mom. We got separated from Jeff and my dad, so it was just me and mom. And she had had back surgery that year and couldn't lift me. She's screaming for someone to help me.
So the crowd's packing in tighter and tighter and by the time it hits me that I can't breathe, I'm almost blacking out. If I had gone down, I would've been trampled.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, this long-haired, shirtless, Harley Davidson Jesus guy throws me up on his shoulders and fights our way out of the crowd. Then he puts me down and disappears.
Dude saved my life, didn't even pause for a thank you.
Man, MV's got me beat. Rama Kama Cushy day? Funny.
But really, at least those guys get out in the street when they really believe in something. We just scooch our chairs closer to the computer or tv and hope for the best.
At least we don't get Temple Trampled. So, when is it coming for Nintendo Wii? Do they use one o' them pads on the floor? Gotta say, throwing a landslide at the fleeing horde could be amusing!
And yes, snark. I thought we'd already established that I'm evil. MV's only evil-lite, cos he won't allow makin' fun o' animals in stampedes.
You guys are merciless.
We're merciless. Meanwhile, a month from now Rama Kama Cushy day will come and we'll read about another 140+ people killed.
Death by sandal, all in the name of Rama Kama Cushy. And you know it's the women and children that are most of the dead. Plus old guys.
Do they use one o' them pads on the floor?
Yeah, like for the dancing games. Only instead of stepping on numbers or whatever, you're stepping on people's necks.
Charlie Daniels??? Oy. I guess back then, we didn't know he was a raving lunatic Repuke, huh? And biker guys are pretty cool when they're not selling drugs and killing rival gangs.
Death by sandal... man, you're gonna get me in trouble. Boss is in town and he's gonna wonder why I burst out laughing.
MV's only evil-lite, cos he won't allow makin' fun o' animals in stampedes.
As much as I'd like to get off the aspartame-injected Evil-Lite and graduate up to fully sugared, fully caffeinated EVIL, I do still have a sensitivity for the animals.
But I actually PREFER them to people. Why I could never be a K-9 cop. I'd take a bullet for my German Shepherd partner, and I don't think that's the point.
Charlie Daniels??? Oy. I guess back then, we didn't know he was a raving lunatic Repuke, huh?
I couldn't tell you what my parents were thinking, going to this show. They dragged us to some GOOD shows too -- Waylon and Willie and the boys -- but the one I almost buy it at is "The Devil Went Down to Fucking Georgia".
Figures.
Boss is in town and he's gonna wonder why I burst out laughing.
SUCK IT!! I'M ON A ROLL!!
And biker guys are pretty cool when they're not selling drugs and killing rival gangs.
Last time I drove up to have breakfast w/ Jeff's kids, there was a biker gang in the truck stop. The Rebel Knights or something gay like that. Matching jackets.
A biker gang. Please. I called them all a bunch of pussies and they slipped on their Keds, flipped out switch blades, and broke into a song and dance musical number.
But I actually PREFER them to people.
Watch it. That's illegal in many states.
But seriously, I like animals too.
Especially beef, pork and chicken. Preferably on the bbq! With a nice marinade and a cold beer.
Watch it. That's illegal in many states.
My heart does not know from logic.
A Montana Cowboy and a California Cowboy are riding along side a fence one morning, when they come across a sheep who has gotten his head stuck in the fence while trying to escape.
They dismount, the Montana Cowboy says, "Hoo boy! Been a long time since I had me any of that!" He unzips and, well, defiles the sheep.
After he's finished, he says to the California Cowboy, "Okay! Your turn!"
The California Cowboy sighs, shrugs, and sticks his head through the fence.
Mmmm. Ribs. w/bbq. And beer.
Dinner at snark's house!
The California Cowboy sighs, shrugs, and sticks his head through the fence.
God I do miss Heath Ledger.
God I do miss Heath Ledger.
Heh heh heh. Yeah. WE'RE the merciless ones.
They don't jump out the window anymore when the stock market plunges. They have an entirely new way of killing themselves now.
Yikes! I guess that wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel, eh? Sploot!
You know, I've been seriously depressed in my life, suffered from depression and chronic tinnitus, and I've contemplated a lot of ways to do myself in.
Bear hugging a 100 mph bullet train is not something that ever occured to me.
And I've even seen the Japanese horror freak-out Suicide Girls.
Damn if that guy doesn't have the "my life is over" Willy Loman look on his face in that picture. Remember a few years ago there was a commercial for something (can't remember what) with a guy riding his John Deere mower around the lawn of his big McMansion all decked out, big car in the driveway. Narrator says "How does he do it?" as the guy rides up to the camera and says with a big glassy eyed smile, "I'm in debt up to my eyeballs!" That guy has that look on his face.
Okay, that guy had everything going for him. He could have ridden it out and still kept a couple houses and boats. So, why'd he off himself. I think we may find out there're more shenanigans than first thought.
BTW, my boss just had our first supplier say no more shipping 'til you're paid up. Could be trouble in paradise.
The look does have a certain, "I'm so fucked I don't even remember my own name" quality to it.
BTW, my boss just had our first supplier say no more shipping 'til you're paid up. Could be trouble in paradise.
It's about how Wall Street affects Main Street, and how it affects the family sitting at the kitchen table looking at their future and they're worried.
Which is why we need a BI-partisan effort, you know, now is not the time for pointing fingers, we need to come together and solve this crisis, you know, all under the umbrella of job creation.
Okay, that guy had everything going for him. He could have ridden it out and still kept a couple houses and boats. So, why'd he off himself.
Stress makes people stupid.
Sure does. But standing in front of a train? Of course, the guy wasn't sorry for what he'd done, or else he would have offed himself long ago. So basically, he was sorry he got caught.
Prolly seemed like a good idea at the time. People get stressed, they can't control their emotions, act irrationally.
This dude was not a Fighter.
Standing in front of a 100mph train ain't so bad. Dead on contact. If you're not concerned with an open casket funeral it's no biggie.
Wife's cousin lost his job last week. He was a CPA for a commercial real estate finance company. In Florida.
Main street, baby.
Umbrellas.
Course, there's always the possibility it'll wing ya, and take off your legs. Did you hear about the guy who had his legs lopped off by a train, and managed to call 911? He was a fighter, all right.
Did you hear her latest? Palin is now McCain's Obama or something like that.
Course, there's always the possibility it'll wing ya, and take off your legs.
Course, then ya get to park in the handicap spots close to the entrances to all the stores! Might just make life worth livin'.
That happens down here in Campus Town at least once a year. Some douche bag football scholarship gets drunk and tries to beat the train only to hear the "pop pop" of their legs being severed from their torso.
But no, I think this guy jumped in front of a train that was already moving at 100 mph. Threw himself in front of it. Not much chance of failing THAT suicide attempt.
But what a mess to be cleaned up!
Did you hear her latest? Palin is now McCain's Obama or something like that.
I just read some stuff about how the GOP is just now starting to realize that Palin may have been a bad gamble.
And I think Tina Fey has already trashed Palin far better than Biden will on Thursday.
Kid in my high school class got offed by a train. Missing two days. They found him next to the tracks with his head split open. Not sure if it was a suicide or an accident.
If you're not concerned with an open casket funeral it's no biggie.
Jeebus, open casket funerals freak my shit out. Especially when I don't know the people that well -- I'm just stopping by to pay my respects, you know? But I still gotta get in line to view the embalmed corpse.
Weirdest one ever was when a dude I worked with every day for like four years suddenly died. Went to his wake and funeral. Seeing somebody you recently knew in an open casket is far more disturbing.
I get people like it for the closure or whatever, but nah. I wanna be flame-broiled and spread on a beach somewhere.
Fuck your closure. Maybe you should've kept in touch with me when I was alive, assholes. Doesn't mean you get to do the Dead Body Peep Show.
No kidding! My friend's family are Scots, and they demand to see the body. Argh! Luckily, she was with me when I went to check on an elderly friend who'd died in front of the tv. I couldn't even go in the house, and there she was, creeping around to get a peek. I couldn't look at the stretcher heading for the coroner's van. I'm such a lightweight. I gag at smooshed spiders.
And I think Tina Fey has already trashed Palin far better than Biden will on Thursday.
Exactly. Now every time someone hears her voice, they'll think Tina Fey and "Palin's ditsier than Paris!" Cool.
Sixty Nine!
Yeah, the whole wake ritual thing is a bit weird. Weirdest one I ever attended was for the sister-in-law of one of my buddies. His older brothers wife. Brother was a NYC cop. So was his older sister, a detective I think. The sister-in-law dropped by to visit the sister one morning and while the sister was in the shower she used her gun to shot herself in the head. Imagine my surprise showing up at the wake and seeing an open casket! WTF! I don't know how they did it but they musta used her hair and a ton of makeup to cover up the wounds. I was too freaked to go up to the casket.
When I'm dead I wanna be burnt up too. Fuck that embalming crap. Why do I need to rot in a box for a hundred years. Actually, run me through a chipper out in the forest somewhere. Fertilize the fucking place, eh?
Just make sure I'm dead before dumping me in the chipper, though. But yeah. Cremation. In the cheapest pine box you can get. Funerals are such a scam. Imagine spending $5000 on something you'll use only once, then bury in the ground. Such waste!
You must not have seen Six Feet Under, snark. They talked a lot about how to fill in those *ahem* empty spaces.
We're a no cablevision house. Haven't watched any of those HBO/Showtime type series.
I knew a guy from high school that became a State Trooper. Really regilious dude, even back in high school.
Once he passed the academy, he took to wearing a bible under his jacket at all times. People gave him a hard time about it, but he didn't mind.
One night he was involved in a vicious roadside shoot-out. And get this -- the bible in his pocket actually stopped a bullet that was headed right for his heart. Stopped it cold. That bullet would've ruined his heart.
And if he'd had another bible over his face, that man would be alive today.
You really should try Deadwood. It's a most amazing series.
Haven't watched any of those HBO/Showtime type series.
You can always rent them. Top Five Cable Shows to date:
1. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)
2. Weeds (Showtime)
3. Californication (Showtime)
4. Flight of the Conchords (HBO)
5. The Sopranos (HBO)
I've never watched "The L Word" and I can't for the live of me understand why. I'm a big supporter of hot lesbians.
And if he'd had another bible over his face, that man would be alive today.
That shit's just cold.
And if he'd had another bible over his face, that man would be alive today.
You almost had me there, dude. Funny. Though I know some people who would be alive in a shootout, the way that brandish the thing all the time.
I'm a big supporter of hot lesbians.
I dunno. I'm not really interested in their "culture" or their relationships. Just the fucking.
My friend tried to get me to watch the L word, and I'd prolly like it. But I have to be in the mood for talkie type stuff. I like Conchords, them guys is funny. Don't like Larry David, he's just a jerk. Never saw one ep of Sopranos, don't like the gangster stuff, even Godfather, which I watched part of this weekend on A&E, just 'cos Pacino used to be so cute.
Preferably on the bbq! With a nice marinade and a cold beer.
I didn't know you drank beer snark? ;)
MV, you are on a roll... been laughing my ass off catching up.
Down at the VA today for a tune-up... more and more young guys everytime!
The worst funeral I saw, was my step-Daughters. The back of her head had been crushed in a car accident and they still managed to have an open casket. Of course I wanted to barf but had to be strong for the wife. That was a rough stretch for the wife and I.
You almost had me there, dude. Funny.
I watched David Mamet's Heist over the weekend w/ Gene Hackman and Danny DeVito. Guy tells that story.
I dunno. I'm not really interested in their "culture" or their relationships. Just the fucking.
The fucking is actually pretty boring. What're they gonna do? Scissors? Strap ons?
I just like the kissing. And I can put up some "culture" as long as they make out a lot.
BTW: The Sopranos got old fast and I missed a couple of seasons. Larry David IS a jerk, but the show is improv and I will always love it for that, and for making me cringe.
Jeff loves Trueblood. I watched the first episode and will prolly get caught up.
Entourage should've been in my Top Five. I got hooked on In Treatment too. And Tell Me You Love Me which had some really graphic fucking going on in it.
The back of her head had been crushed in a car accident and they still managed to have an open casket. Of course I wanted to barf but had to be strong for the wife.
See, that's what I mean. They push it too far. And spending all that money on a casket that's just gonna rot away in the ground...
I'm not a fan. We should show more respect for the dead and worry less about our own selfish need for closure.
Of course, we'd need a bi-partisan effort to stop these "for closure"s.
It's a religous thing, mostly. I'm with ya'll burn my ass up, ashes to ashes and all that shit!
It's just a meat suit anyway. After I'm dead, drop it off in the desert and let the vultures pick it apart. The fuck do I care?
After I'm dead, drop it off in the desert and let the vultures pick it apart.
You really do love animals!
Hell, why don't you donate your body to a zoo... that would be interesting entertainment. I bet people would pay for that...
That'd be cool. Throw me in the lion's den, get all mauled.
I read a story one time about a woman who was hiking on a high cliff wall. Down below, she saw a lioness who had been killed by something, and all these little lion kittens were swarming around her, trying to get fed.
The woman, feeling such compassion for the kittens, threw herself off the ledge so her body could feed the starving babies.
I'm not saying I would do THAT, but I might climb down and assemble an Arby's carry-out order for the kittens. Bring 'em back some Big Roast Beefs and some curly fries.
Off to anniversary dinner.
13 years of wedded bliss baby!
Blech! One thing about Six Feet Under, you learned what a sick relationship we have with death, just like we do with sex.
Happy Anniversary!
13 years of wedded bliss baby!
Congrats! I got married in Feb. '95, so we're just a jump ahead of you.
Did the 7th year suck for you too?
you learned what a sick relationship we have with death, just like we do with sex.
Is our sick relationship with death also because of the nerds who got off the boat in the 15th century and ruined the American Indian Orgy of Freedom?
Pretty much. They preferred to load up blankets with smallpox instead of getting their hands dirty with close up killing. And we still like our killing sterilized while glorifying it in films and tv. Pretty odd.
I was divorced in '96! 12 years of unwedded bliss, baby! Woohoo!
Congrats snark and Mrs. snark!
Did the 7th year suck for you too?
No.
But oddly it was itchy for some reason.
The wife and I just celebrated our 12 Anniversary, but in December we will have been together for 14 years. You know... the almost 2 years you are trying on the right pair of shoes by living together.
What's your secret, snark? 13 years of wedded bliss and all that?
I've been married 13 years and as you can probably tell by some of my rants against marriage, it's not all we were promised by the hype.
And for the celebratory 100th comment I just wanna say, "I still feel like shit!!" And it's a Wednesday!
WOO-HOO!!!
What's your secret, snark? 13 years of wedded bliss and all that?
I can definitely credit the fetishes.
Online fetish sites? Kinky!
I'm guessing you had a nice anniversary. What'd you get your beloved? Diamonds? Poils? Rubies?
I can definitely credit the fetishes.
No way are we ending this thread without come elaboration on this comment.
I'll fuckin' start a NEW thread about Mr. and Mrs. snark and their kinky ways.
Example.
Get your own porn, MV! Heehee!
I GOT my own porn. And now, in addition to my porn, I wanna know what fetishes the snarks have.
C'mon. It's not like I'm gonna put it on another blog somewhere.
A dude my wife works with makes his own life-sized crucifixes, lines them with velvet and straps, and he puts his wife up on it and does stuff to her.
After hearing this story, I met the dude? Totally straight-laced corporate boy.
Off-topic, and I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but Shopgirl also works with a guy named Jeff Leppard.
You'll get nothing out of me.
Is it weirder than the crucifix guy?
That's just fucked up.
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