Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ Kind: What in the hell's diversity?Ron Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.Ed Harken: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try.
This oughta be interesting. I'll give a full report later. Just so you know going in, I don't agree with Diversity. I think Diversity is a way of pointing out (or "celebrating") our differences when the truth is we are all one.
"I celebrate the fact that I'm a white Anglo-Saxon of mixed Italian and Irish decent who was born in Joliet and grew up in Suburbia! That makes me unique! Now YOU celebrate my uniqueness! Ask me questions about my culture!"
Who gives a shit?
If we're all unique then nobody is unique, which takes me back to the truth that we are all one.
One love.
45 comments:
If we're all unique then nobody is unique, which takes me back to the truth that we are all one.
Soooo, that would be like.....one big GROUP?
Heehee - one big diverse group!
One fucking big diverse group!
I hope the other people in the class learn how to get along with a guy in a mask who uses profane language to the point where he often calls co-workers "cunts" at company picnics.
If they believe in diversity, they will!
Soooo - I'm dying to know, MV. What'd you learn today? Didya talk about old wooden ships?
So we got a new job yesterday. Massive apartment overlooking Central Park. Guys a financial type of course. Paid in the 10's of millions for the place. Turns out he was instrumental in exposing the "Big E". Did a lot of the early digging that lead to the exposure. Apparently, he was warning about them for a long time before anyone listened. Should be a fun project.
Big E? I'm hitting a blank. But didn't I see something about Charlie Rangel having a whole bunch of rent controlled properties in the City, which was supposed to be a scandal?
Sounds like fun, though, is it a total remodel? And is he a nice guy, as opposed to the perfectionists you had before?
Think Houston.
Haven't met him yet. Probably won't. According to the partner on the job he probably won't be highly involved after the initial design proposals. Might not be a gut but it will certainly be a multi-million $ job. It's over 7000 square feet. So if he's hands off we will get to do some fun stuff.
I don't get the Big E reference, either, but I'm glad Coyote said it first, Snark always throws me for a loop, which isn't hard to do, of course.
I think MV is in training until noon CST.
I met the masked one for a couple adult beverages yesterday after work, talked some music, how to grow weed, Batman, ya know...Beautiful Pontiac, IL is our half-way meeting spot. Cute bartender, but she wouldn't let me throw the peanut shells on the floor. I fell in and out of love with her thatquick.
And our hero only drinks Red Stripe, because of his vast experience in Jamaica. That's cool that he's loyal to his adopted homeland. It's like Hemingway with Key West. Or Spain. Or Africa.
Central Illinois has way more McCain bumper stickers than Obama. I thought about putting one on the wagon but I don't think I can. I'm like Soto, he's getting my vote and that's it, especially after the criminal FISA vote. Screw that guy.
Anyone like the Replacements? Let's get on the record here, Coyote and Snark, who's your favorite musical artists? MV goes with Butch Walker (I think), I love Replacements/Paul Westerberg/Tommy Stinson. I need to know this because I like to talk about music more than anything. I may have asked Coyote before, but I don't remember.
The Charlie Rangel thing was all puffed up. Just like the Dodd "VIP mortgage" crap. I haven't been following the details but it certainly isn't going to dim his re-election prospects. That'd probably take the proverbial dead girl or live boy.
Anyone like the Replacements?
We've been through this before my friend. You made some reference to Waitress In The Sky I think. Loved the Mats. Meet 'em at a signing with one of my ex's. Own Pleased To Meet Me on vinyl. etc. etc.
As soon as I stopped seeing the Rangel story on the front pages of the Daily News and the NY Post I knew it was nothing.
Hah! it just hit me - Enron! I'm a fookin' idiot!
How soon we forget.
No kidding! That was like 10000 scandals ago.
I figgered the Rangel thing was sumpin silly like that.
Anyhoo, music? Right now, I'm totally into Vivaldi and Hayden for the violins, though Mozart will ever be a fave. I'm sure there's a Replacements song or two that I know, but they were never a buy-their-albums kinda band for me. When I left off rock und roll, I was a Tool/Perfect Circle/STP/Alice in Chains kinda gal. Still like that kinda stuff, but I just don't go outta my way to listen. And I like classical when I drive.
Enron. Duh.
You're right Snark, we HAVE been over this before. I have a memory like a fookin'....like a substance abuser/pill popper/alcoholic, I guess.
Anyway, Paul Westerberg released a new album on Amazon for download only called "49", that's 49 mins long and costs......49 cents. It's all one continuous track, he plays all the instruments, the whole concept is just great. I totally love that guy. I love Tommy, too, he's tied up with Guns 'N' Roses, but working on new material as well.
Soooo, that would be like.....one big GROUP?
All are one. You can't have a group of one. You can have an ARMY of one, apparently. But one does not a group make.
Ahem.
I hope the other people in the class learn how to get along with a guy in a mask who uses profane language to the point where he often calls co-workers "cunts" at company picnics.
I kept my mouth shut. It wasn't easy, but I did.
We don't have any black people where I work. Maybe 2 or 3. We have a few Indian contractors, but mostly white men and a small minority of white women.
And the instructor says, "Imagine the workplace in the 50's. What did that look like?"
Um, pretty much what this room looks like. A bunch of white guys and a small handful of white women.
Hey Jeff, Avedon at the Sideshow Linked to your Blood for Oil post. I love her site, she gives a great rundown of what's going on at the blogs.
So, are you now all diversified, MV? Hey, go to the cunt thread and follow my link to the cunt video. Don't play it out loud at work, tho.
Soooo - I'm dying to know, MV. What'd you learn today?
They showed us a clip from a documentary -- maybe you've seen it. It was a fifth grade classroom exercise from the early 60's where the teacher decided to show the kids what discrimination feels like.
She declares that blue-eyed kids are superior to brown-eyed kids. The brown eyes couldn't go to recess, had to use a paper cup at the drinking fountain, had to sit in the back of the room, etc.
Within minutes, the brown-eyed kids started moping, sullenly feeling sorry for themselves, crying, picking fights, etc.
Then the next day, the brown-eyed kids were superior. Now THEIR test scores improved and the blue-eyed were sullen and downtrodden.
But the fascinating thing, to me, was the video started with the kids reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, one nation under God, followed immediately by a rousing rendition of "GOD BLESS AMERICA".
I sooooo wanted to point out the irony of that. We were JUST talking about how religion is something that can cause a "disconnect" between people.
It was eating its way out of me and ready to take over the room, but I kept telling myself, "It's just a stupid bullshit corporate mandated class."
I'm learning as I get old: Never pass up a good opportunity to shut the fuck up.
BTW: I thought "The Big E" was Elvis.
Wow, that's cool, Coyote, thanks for the tip! It really wasn't earth-shattering news, but I felt it had to be said. Again. And again. This. War. Sucks.
Another lame comment from the incredibly lame trainer about jumping to conclusions about people based on physical characteristics:
"How do we feel when we see someone with a tattoo? Hmm? (scowls, nods her head) Yeah."
The fuck??
What, that they... maybe are a biker? Maybe they... I dunno... smoke cigarettes? Are cool?
Hah, MV! It reminds me of Salma Hayek in Dogma:
"That's why Elvis was the king and you're a schmuck!"
Can't believe they're still showing that ancient video, either. The blue eyes/brown eyes. I'd say "what do they think you are, a buncha kids?" but considering some of the people I've had to work with, I guess the message does have to be that childish, huh?
Yeah, Jeff, Avedon linked a lot to eriposte during the primary. That's why she's a daily stop in my blog ventures.
My god, MV, she curled her nose at a tatoo? You shoulda piped up with "Angelina Jolie has lots of tatoos, what does everyone think about her??"
At least the guys wouldn't scowl, anyhow.
"How do we feel when we see someone with a tattoo?
If it was a tramp stamp I used to think maybe I could get lucky. :)
Never heard of a "tramp stamp." Is that what AJ has?
If it was a tramp stamp I used to think maybe I could get lucky. :)
Especially if it's on her lower back. Reading material. Might as well be a bullseye. 8)
Don't know about AJ.
It's a tat in the small of your back.
I had one good moment I gotta tell you about, then I gotta get back to work.
We were supposed to spend a couple minutes thinking about some "disconnect" in our personal or professional relationships and how we could take the initiative to "bridge the gap" so we would be "walking the walk".
I spent the couple minutes doodling.
Suddenly, we have to pair up with someone and discuss. Shit.
So I'm sitting next to this dude, this corporate golden boy with the right hair and the right clothes and the wife and kid and straight-laced as hell. Soft talker with zero personality.
He tells me his thing about how he got defensive w/ his boss... I couldn't really hear him over all the other talking.
When he's finished, he asks, "What about you?"
I said, "Well, here's the thing. My girlfriend is bisexual, okay? And lately she's been talking a lot about having a threesome. And I'm totally cool with it, as long as it's with another girl because let's face it, one salami in the room is almost too much.
"The problem is, she wants to do it with her former roommate who is very heroin chic and I've seen her with some pretty messed up people. Like, I don't know what's she's got, you know?
"So I guess the solution would be to discuss it openly and set some firm ground rules. You know, who gets to do what with whom, at what point do we need protection, stuff like that."
The guy chuckled at first, then turned red, then turned white again, then turned around to face the front of the room.
Silly cunt. I wanted to add, "Plus, I don't know what my wife is gonna think of all this!" But class had begun again.
Ah, that one. Yes, she's got one, I think. I saw something recently about her - something about Brad Pitt having made a doodle and she had it tatooed on her somewhere. I guess we were all supposed to be touched by the twoo wuv crap. 'Course we went thru it with Billy Bob, too, this same garbage.
Tramp stamp. Cute. I wonder if there's a corrosponding name for a guy - like "Dick pic" or something.
MV, I gotta say I laughed out loud. Poor little golden guy. Didn't know what hit 'im. 'Course, soon everyone will want to be your friend.
Tramp stamp. Has been in my vocabulary for a couple of years. It is too bad, Coyote, that there isn't a similar term for dudes with ink. I need ink. I need an international symbol for "Marriage is a huge fraud and will end up destroying your life." Not sure if there's one out there. May have to settle for Coyote's self-portrait. Or the Gonzo fist and dagger symbol Hunter S. Thompson made famous. Or the Detroit Red Wings' insignia on their jerseys, the winged wheel. Or a big red star. I'm open to suggestions.
MV, you blew that guy's face off. He's gonna be telling that story for like a week. Well played, Sir!
My AA partner wants to go to a strip club after work. Seems like a good idea. Nobody tell my therapist.
May have to settle for Coyote's self-portrait.
If you're talking about my picture here, snark drawd it for me! But yes, my picture has been known as the "marriage-killer." Don't know why...
There's only one tattoo worth getting. "Winona Forever".
No franchise logos. Unless you're getting paid.
Thanks, I think I gave that dude high blood pressure. I noticed the two guys on the other side of the table stopped their discussion and starting listening to me. 8)
Lucky there were so many people around. I was gonna go a whole nuther direction with that story.
Isn't that Johnny Depp's tatoo? We all saw how that turned out, eh?
Yeah, the hockey thing's out, no jock stuff. Need some ink, though.
Get a tramp tat, let the strippers know you're available, eh?
Oh, I'm nothin' if not a tramp. And I am available, tru dat! I love strippers, most of them. If a girl can snake as much money out of a guy as possible, good for her. And my one experience hanging with strippers off-duty was really fun, it was a good time. A lot of single moms and struggling bartenders.
I just don't get the attraction to strippers, myself.
What's so fun about sitting there trying to hide a boner for a chick you can't have? And it's such a dangerous job since there are guys out there who think if they can see the titties, they should be able to have them. And if they can't have them, they could cause trouble for that young mother, because if you get the right judge to take a look, he could take her kids away.
So, would this qualify as a tramp stamp?
Man, Bai Ling is a hoot!
I've never been to a strip club, but as a result I don't see naked strangers very often. I can see how just watching naked women would be fun for a while.
What I don't get is when a group of guys go together and hide their boners. That seems oddly homoerotic to me. Like guys sitting around watching porn. Why?
Women can make infinitely more money getting ogled in a strip club than they can getting ogled as a waitress in a restaurant. Sure it's dangerous.
My reluctance to go to a nudie bar is based on:
1. I don't wanna get aroused while in the company of other men.
2. Please don't stick that in my face -- I don't where that thing's been.
3. Paying $9 for a beer because there are bare boobs in the room.
There was a real dipshit story from Central Illinois where a dude fell in love with a stripper, so he waited until the building was empty late at night and burned the place down so she would be saved from a life of sin. I think God told him to do it.
The moron burned up in the fire too. The girl moved on to lap-dance somewhere else. The owners of the club got a nice insurance check, cuz that wasn't exactly imported Italian marble tile that was destroyed. They were able to reacquire cheap table cloths and Christmas lights somewhere else.
Life goes on. And one man's selfless sacrifice for Our Lord and Savior Baby Jesus goes unnoticed.
So, would this qualify as a tramp stamp?
Yup.
Man, Bai Ling is a hoot!
Does she even have an ass?
Does she even have an ass?
No shit. Somebody get that girl a hoagie.
Post a Comment