There's a temporary ocean exhibit that's been set up at the Brookfield Zoo near Chicago. Yesterday 16 sting rays died in it. Something went wrong with the heating mechanism, and I guess they just fried. Now, this tragedy hits home because my children and I love Brookfield Zoo outings and rays. One of my daughter's favorite early childhood memories was petting rays at a Florida aquarium. My family even has an affinity for the Tampa Rays, the baseball team that's kicking ass in the Yankees and Red Sox division.
This is a senseless disaster and I've always had a love/hate relationship with zoos. 16 animals. One could say obviously they'd have been better off in the wild, and one could say the personal experience my daughter had with them will encourage her to be an environmentalist later in life. That's an interesting debate, but this was a bummer.
And the Chicago Southlands news doesn't get any better this morning. In Lyndale, the village has passed an ordinance against baggy pants. If a kid is wearing pants that are so baggy his boxers are showing, a cop can issue him a $25 ticket. Can you say "Racial Profiling"? The ACLU is here and fighting it. I love the ACLU.
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Personally I think the local police departments should looooove the baggy pants thingy. I mean look at it this way. The way some of those kids wear their pants they have to hold on to them to keep them from falling down. Makes it almost impossible to pull a gun of make a getaway run for it without having your Sean Johns wind up around your ankles!
This has been your politically incorrect comment of the day.
You know what you can do with your complaints.
How sad for those stingrays! My god, they couldn't have tested the equipment first? Oh...right...we don't do that shit anymore.
As for the baggy pants, yep, profiling. But it's kids of a certain age, not much of racial thing in my white bread state. And it's middle school kids 'cos that went outta fashion here for the older kids, didn't it?
snark's right, though. I can see how the cops should like the trend rather than try to get rid of it. But then, oldsters have been trying to stop kids from fashion mistakes for centuries, so why not attack the baggies?
And get off my fookin' lawn, ya dang gangsta!
And Jeff, where the heck have you been? Kids off from school cutting into your blogging time?
Read Life of Pi sometime. Gave me a whole new perspective on zoos.
Basically, an animal in the wild isn't just roaming free across the open range, whistling a tune. They live constantly on guard against predators, natural threats, starvation, and other dangers. They're constantly foraging for food.
The wild animal carves out a very small territory for itself. Easier to defend. This is where they live and reproduce.
The zoo animal has no threat from predators. They don't have to constantly be worrying about food and, well, SURVIVAL. They have a comfortably-sized territory carved out for them, one that meets (as closely as possible) the habitat they're used to.
Basically, would you wanna live on the street in East LA, or would you want to be a shut-in at a mansion in Bel Air that's decorated to simulate East LA, except people bring you food, clean up your shit, keep it nice and cool, and hook you up with a mate?
Zoos are okay.
Terrible about the rays though.
Every time somebody gives props to the ACLU (of which I am a member), I think of the speech in The American President.
"For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a few hours ago. America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say 'You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.'"
Jeez, that Aaron Sorkin can write.
Yeah, but a life without any sort of adversarial stimuli is a total yawn for animals since they don't watch tv or smoke dope. What makes them interesting is stripped away by zoos until they end up like Reivers that have to be shot when they start cannibalizing each other, or they just lay down and die like the people on Miranda...
Yikes, that Serenity analogy just slipped in there...
Huh, I don't think I've ever watched that flick all the way through, (Michael Douglas, right? Yawn!) But that is quite a nice quote. And we've got half the country full of bumpkins who think the ACLU is evil. Go figger.
Now, this tragedy hits home because my children and I love Brookfield Zoo outings and rays. One of my daughter's favorite early childhood memories was petting rays at a Florida aquarium. My family even has an affinity for the Tampa Rays
Crap. Well, your family isn't gonna care much for my graphic novel. It's about crazed stingrays attacking a resort in Jamaica.
Those things are getting more and more aggressive! I'm telling you, they're jumping out the water and attacking people on boats!
Some evolutionary change is happening. And I'm looking to profit from it with a fun action/horror/comedy script.
Oh well. There'll be too much foul language, drug use, and nudity for the kids anyway.
"Dead Sting Rays and Baggy Pants" is the working title of my script too. Coincidence? Or brotherly mind-meld??
Yikes, that Serenity analogy just slipped in there...
Yeah, but that was more a critique of the anti-depressant movement. I thought, anyway.
Animals don't need TV or pot. They live in the now.
But if the now doesn't include having to do anything but eat and shit, what's their motivation??
And Dead Sting Rays would be a great name for a band. They could do the soundtrack for your new script, MV! Heck, I think I've seen that movie on the Sci Fi channel, though.
Didn't Peter Benchley already right that story?
I'm sure I've seen that one on the Sci Fi channel, too. Creature was it? Or Beast or something like that. It starred the guy from CSI, William Peterson, is it? He was good in Manhunter but that was about it.
Ugh. Yeah, you just shone a spotlight on my biggest hesitation about the script. That it would become a shitty Sci-Fi channel movie with Jeff Fahey.
Fuck.
Hey, Jeff Fahey showed up on Lost this year, and I had no idea it was him for two episodes. I believe he used to be on General Hospital millions of years ago, wasn't he? He certainly redeemed himself as a hippie helicopter pilot, though!
Snark, my politically INCORRECT statement of the day? Wha? Are you snarkin' me and it went over my head? C'mon, let the kids wear what they want. I'm sittin' in the office today wearing eyeshadow, a Marylin Manson tee, and shorts so baggy my dancing bears boxers are clearly visable. Luckily I'm not in Lyndale.
Coyote, I've been dealing with major crises of the domestic type. I keep up with you Fookers, but like at TLC, writing is the last thing on my mind as of late. I promise to try and do better.
Shouldn't we get Snark involved in our little family here? I like Snark.
MV I asked the dude who works for Rep. Careen Gordon to join us, too, but no answer as of yet. He's one of us commie pinko bastards with lots of opinions, too.
Jeez. I feel like a New Yorker cover. If you have to explain it....
Jeff Fahey was awesome in the "Planet Terror" part of "Grindhouse" too.
But writing a Jeff Fahey movie for the Sci-Fi channel is not how I wanna spend my time.
Jeff - eyeshadow?? You letting the kids test their makeup skillz on you or do you always sit around the house with eyeshadow? Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Sorry about the domestic disturbance, though. I have an extra room if you need to escape.
And I asked snark if he wants to come play, (huh, did I forget to mention it? Ooopsie!) but he can't even post on his own blog or L&L! Of course, it would be fun for him to post so we can all go "wha??" and ax him to explain things...
*smirk*
Aw, I didn't realize it was Fahey in Planet Terror! Now I'm going to have to watch it again - good thing I bought the Grindhouse flicks when they came out - even though I still think it was a rip off that they separated them into two movies and sold them weeks apart. Fookin' profiteers!
Oh, so SNARK's being politically incorrect. Gotcha.
Cut me some slack, I'm a mess. I'm contemplating shaving off all my body hair like Bob Geldof did in "The Wall." Just cuz.
MV, killer rays would be fine with them, they'd love it.
Anyone know any good sports blogs? I haven't gone looking since Scott's disaster happened, I have no clue about them, but I got this kid who is a sports genius, is blogging locally, and needs a national outlet.
Doesn't the Big Orange Menace have a sports blog?
Yeah, Kos's sideline. I wonder if Olberman's one of the contributers - you don't want to go there, Jeff. Orange is teh evillll!
Jeff, you know you're down when you start contemplating going "Geldoff." But if you do shave all your body hair, you have to make a YouTube of it, so we can play it over and over. Kinda like Katie Couric's colonoscopy. Only with less polypy goodness!
Just make sure to put an itty bitty blackout over the private bits or the Youtube police will yank it.
LOL...itty bitty. I'm glad Lil' Elvis can't read, he'd be upset.
I'M not gonna play with the Orange, but if My Guy can get on over there, that would be great.
Marital difficulties here. I even got a black eye. I should post it. Made me look tough for a while. Marriage SUX!! MV, count the ways!! If I scratch my way out of this pen, it's gonna be nothin' but 20-somethin' girls and hos from now on.
By the way, Soto has been en fuego over at TLC lately!
It's nice to see isn't it.
Comments still leave much to be desired though.
Another thing, if anyone has suggestions of posts you'd like to see over at the Coaster lemme know. I have no desire to do anything about the election unless it's about any party except Dem or GOP. I'd write a Green Party or Nader post in a heartbeat if there was anything going on.
But I'd like to expand the horizons over there, too. Something funny or really weird. I'm just looking for encouragement to get back in the swing of things and help Steve out over there he seems to be flying solo.
I'd love to write a big blog on the Suckiness of Marriage, but I don't have it in me.
Maybe I'm lazy or apathetic, but I'm too fuckin' tired and I don't care. 8)
Yeah, Snark, it is nice to see Soto going apeshit over there. At his best he's one of my favorite political writers, I followed him for years before foolishly volunteering to follow the Hillary campaign. Got me a sign-in, though. I think I'm gonna post my top 100 favorite albums over there. Then a month later top 100 movies. Then books, drugs, women, whatever else is listable. I don't think anybody's left over there that's any fun.
You're also right that the comments are atrotious. Jesus, is that a word? Did I spell that right? They're awful. Unbearable.
Well, the comments suck 'cos all the best people have walked. *flutters eyelashes*
I was thinking of having Erin do a big feminist rant, but why waste a good bit o' writing on that rabble?
Black eye, Jeff? Really? WTF? And MV, I thought you and Shop Girl were in bliss.
snark, tell me all is well with you guys - I might lose all happy feelings about marriage altogether... waitaminit! Marriage is for losers!!! Bwahahahaha!
Ahem. Jeff, you gotta get out of there, man. That's bullshit.
And I believe it's "atrocious."
Happy as a bearded clam chez snark.
Phew! Good to know.
But really, how does one know that bearded clams are happy? Do they smile? Do their beards droop when they're not happy? I must know the methodology!
Bearded clam. Awesome. I think this is my favorite blog. I'm honored to be standing on the shoulders of giants. I still don't understand the picture, though.
Shopgirl and I adore each other. But as anyone who's been married over a year knows, you start to crave the attention that you don't feel like you're getting any more. Most people get divorced and the ones who stay together cheat on each other.
Marriage, monogamy, rules -- all bullshit.
Think of all the little girls out there, dreaming of their wedding day, the romance of it all.
Think of all the young guys out there who feel the pressure to make an "honest woman" out of their girlfriend.
80% of men cheat. 40% of women cheat. 100% of married people complain about it and say it's hard WORK.
WTF?? When did it become WORK? Was it work when you first met cute and flirted? Was it work the first time a tickle fight turned into tearing each other's clothes off?
You know why it's work? Cuz it's not in our fucking nature as human beings to be monogamous. Because there's no fucking way in hell ONE PERSON can satisfy ALL your needs.
The people who say "marriage is work" are probably among the 80/40 who cheat.
And the top excuses for cheating? "I wanted to feel wanted again."
After the first couple years of marriage, you'll never feel wanted by that person again.
People need to learn the truth. Marriage is not a sacred institution. It's not even romantic. It's a legal contract. It's bullshit. And the ascribed rules are impossible to live (happily) by.
Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall. Dated for 13 years, had kids together. Got married... divorced a year later.
Personally, I've found it's much easier to climb onto the shoulders of midgets. And you don't fall as far when their little legs give out.
80% of men cheat. 40% of women cheat.
Does that mean that 20% of the guys are cheating with the other 20% of the guys?
100% of married people complain about it and say it's hard WORK.
Shit, marriage isn't hard. Raising kids is hard.
And speaking of Jeff and his black eye -- that's complete bullshit too.
I used to work with a guy whose girlfriend got good and drunk and pissed off at him and one night she beat the living shit out of him. I'm talking closed fists to his face.
I guess she had a lot of rings on and he was getting it pretty bad, so in one brief moment of self defense, he extended his arms to push her away.
She, being drunk, stumbled over an ottoman like Dick Van Dyke, got bruised on her arm, and she called the cops.
HE was brought up on charges and fired from his job.
Jeez, that wouldn't be a... double standard would it??
TEASPOONS!
Does that mean that 20% of the guys are cheating with the other 20% of the guys?
Yes. Or my math is wrong. Or I should've said 80% of MARRIED guys and 40% of MARRIED women, thereby allowing the swinging singles to be the "homewreckers".
I heard Jagger and Hall are together again. Heh.
And isn't it 50% divorce rate still?
Sheesh, MV, it's a wonder you're still married with that attitude. Of course, marriage is a business contract, but it's also a natural inclination for people to couple up - we're genetically wired for it. Not monogamy, though, that's a cultural construct. As is the little girl dreaming of her wedding day. She's been told since birth that that's the only day she's worth anything, so why not dream about it?
And yeah, I know about the craving for the lovey dovey times, I co-taught a whole class on the concepts of couples and the phases they go through. I just think too many couple play all kinds of games, that's why the expansion phase doesn't last forever. We don't so much as lie as we try to be the best person we want to be for that new person in our lives. Sadly, we can't keep that up for very long and reality steps in. The work part is trying to overcome selfishness, so it's always a fight between stability and instant gratification. We are such selfish creatures.
snark with the un-PC again! Midget is out - Little Person is in.
Of course, until their little legs give out. hehe
Unfortunately, since 99% of the spouse beaters are men, they're the ones who are always first suspected. And since men have decided what constitutes manliness - a definition that includes being able to beat the shit outta people if so inclined - it's very tough to bring charges against a woman who does that shit. Besides, another definition of manliness is that you're not a man if a girl can beat you up.
And teaspoons do not denote a woman getting an unfair advantage over a man because of the way the system has been constructed around men - but I'm sure you knew that.
Of course, marriage is a business contract, but it's also a natural inclination for people to couple up - we're genetically wired for it. Not monogamy, though, that's a cultural construct.
So if Coupling and Monogamy are contradictory, why get married?
That's all I'm saying. Marriage, a nut of the Religion tree, is fucked. As are all things that come from said Religion tree.
Hey, did you hear Massachusetts is gonna vote on repealing the income tax this November?
Maybe I should move out there.
Actually, in one of my papers I argued that the Church got ahold of marriage in the middle ages as a way to make money. They conspired with the state to make licenses and sacred vows mandatory so they could collect the fees. It's a scam, man!
Unfortunately, since 99% of the spouse beaters are men
Actually, it's not THAT skewed.
In 2001, women accounted for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence (588,490 total) and men accounted for approximately 15 percent of the victims (103,220 total).
And teaspoons do not denote a woman getting an unfair advantage over a man because of the way the system has been constructed around men
I don't give a shit what it means. I just like to take a dig at those world-haters whenever possible. Fuck 'em.
They don't hate the world. They just hate that men get to rule it, which usually doesn't bode well for women.
And okay, so the vast majority of victims of spousal abuse are women. And you need to link to your sources, big guy, so the rest of us can tear it apart and go "Ah HAH!"
Shit, marriage isn't hard. Raising kids is hard.
That is the total truth! Even my failed marriage wasn't that hard. Well, at least until he came home from deployment. Then it sucked ass.
I'm having a way easier time raising my kids than getting along with Wifey.
Obviously, Jeff. WTF?? A black eye? That's pretty fucked up. The kids can't be missing that shit; I can tell from experience, it ain't a good thing for them to see.
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